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josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
couples and oral sex....   29/4/2008

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy.

The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"

The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"

Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!" The waiter ...


2 Commentaires, 109 Consultations, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
more married life   29/4/2008

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was ...


2 Commentaires, 91 Consultations, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
4 kinds of sex   29/4/2008

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her ...


2 Commentaires, 71 Consultations, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
MARRIAGE   29/4/2008

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

5. ...


2 Commentaires, 41 Consultations, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
play me a tune....   28/4/2008

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My love, " he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the ...


2 Commentaires, 54 Consultations, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
cant please em all....   28/4/2008

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he ...


2 Commentaires, 69 Consultations, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
another 40 years of marriage...   28/4/2008

An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife.

She says, "Well what was that for?"

He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!"

She doesn't reply and they start rocking again.

All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.

He says, ...


2 Commentaires, 67 Consultations, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
devotion   28/4/2008

This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you ...


2 Commentaires, 66 Consultations, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
unusual dreams...   28/4/2008

A wife woke up from her night's sleep and began recounting her dream to her husband. "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks in this place, "she began, "the big ones went for a tenner and the thick ones went for 20."

"How about the ones like mine?" asked her husband. "Those they gave away, " she replied tongue in cheek.

"I had a dream too, " started the husband. "I dreamt they ...


3 Commentaires, 76 Consultations, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
marriage consuling....   28/4/2008

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the ...


2 Commentaires, 53 Consultations, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
40 years of marriage...   28/4/2008

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.

However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and ...


3 Commentaires, 227 Consultations, 14 Votes ,2.18 Score
james357james 43 H
3  Articles
marriage   27/4/2008

marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!


0 Commentaires, 18 Consultations, 0 Votes
james357james 43 H
3  Articles
marriage   27/4/2008

marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!


0 Commentaires, 4 Consultations, 0 Votes
rm_nolentally 58 H
81  Articles
Flirt Lines To Get Her Attention ?   24/4/2008

I came across some lines on a site that some guys have apparently used to flirt with women. Wonder how effective they were?

Do you know Karate? Because your body is kickin’.

You’re so hot, you’re making my beer warm.

If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the McGorgeous!

You better be careful. You’re sitting under a ...


0 Commentaires, 51 Consultations, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
you can be the man of your house...   19/4/2008

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.'

He stormed out to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to ...


2 Commentaires, 187 Consultations, 10 Votes ,3.78 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
say what you mean...   19/4/2008

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You ...


2 Commentaires, 73 Consultations, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
josmith5 61 H
1466  Articles
a poem   18/4/2008

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard .. Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I whirled and smacked him shitless ... Like his mother used to do.


2 Commentaires, 58 Consultations, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_calmlys 38 H
3  Articles
The Final Pubic Hair   17/4/2008

You know when you're going down on a girl, normally these days, most girls keep themselves pretty clean and trimmed. Yeah there may be a patch here or there where it's slightly rougher, but there's ALWAYS some part that just somehow always gets missed.

It may be a small patch, it may be part of a design gone wrong, but it's there. And in this patch, there's always one stray hair that's ...


2 Commentaires, 318 Consultations, 19 Votes ,3.78 Score
rm_calmlys 38 H
3  Articles
Cinderella   17/4/2008

What did Cinderella say after you got to the ball?

















*Gack!*


0 Commentaires, 74 Consultations, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
rm_nolentally 58 H
81  Articles
Wrap That Sausage   14/3/2008

Came across this amusing article. Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai.

After shopping there earlier in the day, a man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large sausages.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look, " said a spokesman for police in the ...


1 Commentaires, 443 Consultations, 15 Votes ,3.44 Score
rm_liz3120072 48 F
6  Articles
What women really say & mean!!!   7/3/2008

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? -there is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. -without u in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? -We haven't had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA'S FINE. -you cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. -I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON'T KNOW, ...


5 Commentaires, 305 Consultations, 23 Votes ,4.53 Score
just4kicks1700 42 C
6  Articles
worst date??   5/3/2008

whats the worst date story you have??


1 Commentaires, 105 Consultations, 5 Votes ,1.51 Score
_JKH_ 69 H
858  Articles
The good husband !   28/2/2008

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to ...


11 Commentaires, 297 Consultations, 52 Votes ,4.72 Score
sexyromance65 59 H
2  Articles
Safe condom removal.   24/2/2008

This is a story warning of the dangers of unsafe condom removal. It's sure to bring a tear to the eyes of every man who reads it.

When I was about 20, I met a girl called Jenny, and we started dating. She was quite new to the world of sex, but she was most enthusiastic. The first time we went all the way I used a condom, something that she was fascinated with. She rolled it onto me quite ...


5 Commentaires, 673 Consultations, 15 Votes ,4.05 Score
niceguywesternok 35 H
11  Articles
funny stuff   17/2/2008

yes it is


0 Commentaires, 41 Consultations, 1 Votes
sex   3/2/2008

sex is like oxygen its only important if your not getting any


0 Commentaires, 75 Consultations, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
Sexy757Couple 34 C
3  Articles
Pet peeves   22/1/2008

What is the one thing that your partner does that irritates you the most? Mine is commenting on my driving!


3 Commentaires, 104 Consultations, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
_JKH_ 69 H
858  Articles
Married for 44 years !   18/12/2007

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. Now I have a $500, 000 house, $45, 000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It ...


11 Commentaires, 404 Consultations, 64 Votes ,5.26 Score
Double date hell   28/11/2007

Years ago I had a double date with a friend of mine, Joe, who wanted to date a friend of a girl I had dated a couple of times. I asked her if she would set up a date for us, she agreed thinking it would be fun. I agreed to drive, picking up my buddy and then the two girls. Since the other two barely knew each other we talked for a few minutes before heading off to a bar for a beer and a bite ...


3 Commentaires, 178 Consultations, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
rm_solly2272 52 H
5  Articles
F--k   8/11/2007

I was wrong Fuck. Well give me a minute, Fuck. Yea it wont happen again, Fuck. want to talk about it, Fuck. I just want a set of ears, Fuck. I didn't want your sympathy. All I wanted was a friend Fuck. Ill dream of a new tomorrow and you'll still be in fuck-in head why? Because I LOVE YOU P.S Many more fucks to go....


2 Commentaires, 54 Consultations, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score